


The Raven Six

by The_GrxyWxrxn_91



Series: The Raven Six [1]
Category: All For The Game
Genre: M/M, Multi, Rape, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-11-02 04:23:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20620748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_GrxyWxrxn_91/pseuds/The_GrxyWxrxn_91
Summary: There was number six, Aaron. He was small and angry and one of the best backliners Exy had to offer.There was number five, Andrew. A monster and on anti-psychotic and had a fascination with knives. He was the best goalkeeper in Class I Exy.There was number four, Jean. Jean was stoic and had trust issues, but if you got through to him, he was the biggest softie. Along side Aaron, he was also one of the most deadly backliners to face.There was number three, Nathaniel. He had an attitude problem and was unable to keep his mouth shut for more that five seconds. He was the fastest player in Class I Exy and the third best striker in the competition.Then there was Kevin, number two. He had a drinking problem to help his anxiety and had a liquid spine when it came to the Master or number one. He was the seconded best striker.Lastly was number one, Riko. He was a sociopath and enjoyed destruction. He loved blood and tears. He was the best striker.The public saw them as a brotherhood, joined at the hips out of love. Inside castle Evermore was a certain hell that the press could never imagine.Part one of the THE RAVEN SIX series





	1. When birds don’t fly

There was six of them, almost like a family. A family that was ready to murder and torture each other.

There was number six, Aaron. He was small and angry and one of the best backliners Exy had to offer.

There was number five, Andrew. A monster and on anti-psychotic and had a fascination with knives. He was the best goalkeeper in Class I Exy.

There was number four, Jean. Jean was stoic and had trust issues, but if you got through to him, he was the biggest softie. Along side Aaron, he was also one of the most deadly backliners to face.

There was number three, Nathaniel. He had an attitude problem and was unable to keep his mouth shut for more that five seconds. He was the fastest player in Class I Exy and the third best striker in the competition.

Then there was Kevin, number two. He had a drinking problem to help his anxiety and had a liquid spine when it came to the Master or number one. He was the seconded best striker.

Lastly was number one, Riko. He was a sociopath and enjoyed destruction. He loved blood and tears. He was the best striker.

The public saw them as a brotherhood, joined at the hips out of love. Inside castle Evermore was a certain hell that the press could never imagine.

The Raven Six were most certainly not a brotherhood, they were a pack of wolves ready to feast.

“Nathaniel!” Riko grinned down at the ice blue eyes as he pushed down harder on the racket in his hands. He pressed it further and further into Nathaniel’s pelvis until Nathaniel gave up a whimper. Nathaniel hates this, when he was forced to step down from a fight because Riko’s head was too big. “Next time you miss the cross, I’ll waterboard you again.” Riko seethed. Nathaniel remembered all the times he had been through that so he could force himself to nod, he hated bowing to this sick son of a-

Nathaniel cried out when the butt off the racket came down his cheek, there was a crunch. Nathaniel felt his mouth flood with blood and shatter teeth. He rolled over onto his side, one hand clutching his cheek and the other around his waist.

“Riko,” Andrew sung from goal, Nathaniel saw him jerking his head to the door of the court, “Master don’t look so pleased.”

Riko flashed his teeth at the tiny blond and then at his twin, Aaron. Aaron flinched and bowed his head. Nathaniel found himself cursing the mute copy of Andrew, don’t give Riko more power

Nathaniel struggled to pull himself up on his racket and black dots blocked out Kevin’s face as he fussed over him.

“Neil,” Kevin used their secret nickname that wasn’t allowed near anyone other than the five before Riko, “Neil open your mouth.”

Nathaniel struggled not to flinch when he opened, blood gushing from his mouth. He cringed at it running down his chin and under his uniform. Andrew was here, grabbing the back of his neck, bringing him back to reality. Nathaniel tried to smile down at Andrew but winced.

“It’s a nice look, Wesninski. Really.” Andrew grinned manically, fingers darting into the short hair on the back of his neck.

“He knocked a tooth to shreds.” Kevin said over his shoulder. Nathaniel knew this was to Jean by the way he spoke, light.

“I can still play-I’m fine.” Nathaniel was about to tug his helmet back on but Andrew stopped him by squeezing that back of his neck harder. Nathaniel felt better whenever Andrew did that, it felt like in this world that was so fast and loud and cruel, when he was standing there with his eyes locked on Andrew’s and Andrew’s hand keeping him calm, God. Nathaniel couldn’t explain it. He just loved it too much to put words to. 

“Don’t think so, Abram.” He said. “Besides, Master wants to see you.” Those were words nobody ever wanted to hear in the Nest. Nathaniel gulped and his hands shook.

What could he have done wrong.

Was it what he said to Riko last night?

No. It couldn’t be, Master didn’t care for that stuff.

Was it his performance the past week?

Nathaniel was missing goals that would be easy for a first year player.

Was his relationship with Andrew out? Were they caught in public doing something romantic? Did someone tell? Was Andrew going to be hurt because of him?

“Stop.” Andrew jerked Nathaniel’s head down, chin to chest. “The Master is watching right now, don’t show him your weakness. Stand up straight and put on a show, after all, lying is what you do best.”

Nathaniel stopped shaking, but he still couldn’t breathe, words were caught in his throat and they stopped air from entering his body.

“Get it together, Abram.” Andrew growled.

Nathaniel straightened and took a deep breath. He could do this.

The Master hadn’t wanted him, but his father did.

Nathaniel’s father sat across from him, a spitting image of himself. Or Nathaniel of him. The same ice eyes and auburn hair. The same killer grin. Although, Nathaniel was a lot more tense in his seat.

Nathan took a sip of a black coffee and set the mug down on the coffee table.

They were in the sitting room of the Nest, where the Master would recruit new Ravens to join his special type of hell. It was a average sized room with nice comfy couches and a mini bar. Trophies and certificates and metals lined the walls. A jersey hung above the longest lounge.

Nathaniel came to stand beside his father after the last of his men walked out and closed the door. Locking it from the outside.

“Father, it’s a pleasure.” Nathaniel knelt down on one knee in respect. He gritted his teeth.

“Nathaniel,” his father gripped his hair and pulled him up violently. Nathaniel looked his father in his dead ice eyes, he felt like a pathetic rabbit. He didn’t dare blink. “Nathaniel, you’re mother is dead.”

Nathaniel felt his mouth dry out and the cacti spike the roof of his already destroyed mouth. He wasn’t going to cry, no. He’d never cry in the presence of his murderous father.

Nathaniel’s knees turned to jelly and he fell limply into a kneel after his father let his head drop.

“It’s just us now, Junior.” Nathan showed his butcher smile and Nathaniel’s blood went cold. It’s just us. “Your mother had it coming with her plans to run away.”

Nathaniel’s world stopped, the only thing moving was Nathan’s mouth turning poisonously cheerful.

“Yes, I knew about the plans.” Nathan’s grip got bone-crushingly strong on Nathaniel’s shoulder. “Did you really think you, your dwarf boyfriend and those other children could escape me?”

Everything was over

«»«»«»

Jean stitched up Kevin’s cheek, dressed Aaron’s leg in bandages, did both to the knife slashes across Andrew’s chest and ice to his own swollen nose. Jean was good at stitches from experience, terrible experience. He was the group nurse most of the time. 

He was packing away the kit when Nathaniel walked in, black and blue from head to toe and arm twisted to a funny angle. Kevin shot up from his bed across from Jean’s. Jean started to unpack the kit again. 

Nathaniel walked past the four others and went straight for Andrew who had also gotten to his feet at some point, the book he was reading tossed into the void and his glasses sliding down his nose. Nathaniel was shaking, dragging his foot along the concrete floor. 

Andrew for once wasn’t smiling. 

Andrew caught him when Nathaniel got to him and he collapsed at his feet. 

“He knows.” Nathaniel mumbled. Everything felt dead at that moment. “He killed my mother because he found out. Someone told him.” Andrew sat down on his bed, slowly so Nathaniel would feel less pain and Nathaniel moved to kneel between his legs. Nathaniel started crying when he pressed his face into Andrew’s thigh, hands balling up the front of Andrew’s shirt. 

Jean felt his heart stop, his hearing replaced by white noise. 

He knows. 

They know. 

Riko knows. 

Everyone knew. 

Their plan was set ablaze. Left to crumble to ash before their very eyes. 

Mary was dead because of them. 

“Who the hell told the Master?” Kevin roared. He threw his history textbook at the wall. Only they knew what they had planned, only the six, except Riko. They had all planned an escape for tonight, but it had all gone up in smoke and flames. “Who-“ 

“It was me.” Aaron whispered. He curled up on his bed, knees to chest, forehead to knees. Aaron didn’t speak, not once since joining the Ravens three years ago. Only something brutal must have made him confess. 

However, Andrew still seethed. He used one hand to keep down Nathaniel head to his thigh and the other to throw a knife at his brother. He had not intended to miss. The only reason he had was because Nathaniel shifted. 

“Did you not learn anything from what happened to dear old cuz?” Andrew got ready another knife but Kevin stood between them faster than it could leave Andrew’s hand. 

“Nicky didn’t deserve what he got, alright. But just imagine loosing Aaron to that too?” Kevin said. Andrew didn’t look at all concerned about the mention of Nicky. 

Nicky had only lasted two months with the Ravens’ as number seven. But before they could be announced, Nicky wound up in hospital. A mental hospital. Nicky hadn’t been as strong as the rest of them, he had never needed to be.  
Nicky has needed toughening up and a lot more work that the others to get him to Raven level. They had beat him more than the rest, they had taken away Nicky’s one happy thing, Erik. After Nicky had signed he had to break up with Erik, telling him that what they had was fake to him and that Nicky was only doing it for a bet. 

That night Nicky had snapped, gone insane some might call it. He was looking for an escape so he used some substance. Jean had found him in the bathtub, not breathing. He had only woken from a coma six months ago. When he woke up the doctors declared him ‘crazy’ and bound him to a bed in a mental institution. Erik didn’t even know the truth yet, hasn’t gone to visit him once. Of course neither had the remaining six. 

“It was his own damn fault-“

“Andrew!” 

“No, shut up Kevin.” Andrew growled. “This is all Aaron’s fault, we were gonna get outta here.” He pointed at Aaron, murder in his eyes. “Just know, brother of mine, that i will kill you if it means getting us out of here.” Andrew threaded his fingers through Nathaniel’s red curls and tugged his head up so he could look at his eyes. “I mean it. We are getting out of here at any cost.” 

Jean knee Andrew would do anything for Nathaniel, kill someone, die, live. He knew Andrew didn’t care what happened to himself, Jean knew that the only reason he wanted to get out the Nest so bad was so Nathaniel could live free of his father and this abuse. He wanted Nathaniel to have the best chance at life he possibly could, to be able to heal and feel joy. 

Jean only just heard Nathaniel mumble an agreement when he door to the suit opened and Riko paraded in. He went straight for Nathaniel, pace slowing just slightly when he saw the protective hold Andrew had on his target. 

“Butcher’s mistake,” he addressed Nathaniel, “I got this because of you!” Riko pointed to his black eye. “Master thinks I can’t look after my belongings, can’t keep track of what their doing.” 

Riko grabbed the collar of Nathaniel’s thin grey shirt and pulled, Nathaniel hit the floor and didn’t show any signs of getting back up. Andrew stood between Riko and Nathaniel, knife glittering in his hand, Riko almost looked threatened. 

“Get out of my way, five.” Riko tried to push Andrew away from Nathaniel’s crumbled up body behind him. 

Jean shuffled back onto his bed as to get as far away from the fight as possible. He huddled in between the wall and the world. 

Andrew looked like he was ready to gut Riko if he took another step. 

“Riko,” Andrew sneered, “If you leave Nathaniel alone and let him heal, not have him play the game tomorrow-“ Andrew took a deep and shaking breath-“You can do whatever you want to me.” 

Everyone gasped, even Aaron who couldn’t care less about his brother. Andrew rarely let Nathaniel touch him so this was unheard of. This was something Riko couldn’t even ignore. Jean caught a shaking hand wrap around Andrew’s ankle, Nathaniel could do more than that. 

A manic grin spread across Riko’s face. 

“Alright then, five.” Riko sneered. “I look forward to ripping you apart.” 

Riko spun around, a happy set to his shoulders and left, dragging Kevin after him for ‘bonding’. Everyone knew what that meant. Jean hated ‘bonding’ when it came to Riko and Kevin.

Andrew kicked off Nathaniel’s hand. Aaron looked at his brother as if to say ‘forgive me!’ but Andrew didn’t care less. 

“If they don’t kill you,” Andrew sneered, picking up Nathaniel like the most precious thing in the world, who appeared to be out, and tucking him under the covers of Andrew’s own bed, “I sure as hell will.” 

Aaron grumbled and rolled over in his bed. Andrew got in next to Nathaniel and set his glasses aside. Jean still sat on his bed, exhausted. He just needed a light in his life, something to get him through the next year. He needed his own personal sun


	2. When the sun met the moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jeremy, doesn’t know what he’s getting into

The Ravens won.

Obviously.

Jeremy didn’t know why his whole team seemed disappointed, even himself, because they lost every year to the Ravens.

  
“It was just time they got used to it and gave up” someone had told Jeremy over Twitter. Jeremy had laughed nicely and replied, “but where’s the fun in that?”

  
Even though he knew it was going to happen, the lose still wrecked him.

Another year of working so hard, to just loose at the very last minute.

  
He was so exhausted, he had to drag his body to the showers and then again to the lounge and then to the bus and lastly to the hotel room on the top floor of the six story, elevator-less building.

  
At least he met the cutest boy in the universe that he couldn’t stop texting.

  
Okay, so Jeremy knew the Six were off limits, just like the Ravens in general. He knew this. But damn! DAMN!

  
This was how it had happened: Jeremy was jittery with nerves before the game because his parents were in the crowd and he didn’t want to disappoint them too much. He knew they wouldn’t care if the team won or lost, but he still didn’t want to let them down.

  
Jeremy he needed air so he went outside the Edger Allen stadium and into the chilly twilight air. The stars were coming out over head, he watched them blink into existence. This calmed him down quite a bit, he almost forgot everything that was about to happen in twenty minutes. He forgot he had to give a pep talk to his team about-

  
“Beautiful?” A voice said beside him, all raspy and nice. Jeremy looked to his right to see eyes the colour of wet pebbles. “The stars I mean.”

  
Jeremy just sort of hummed a reply, to shocked to actually use his words for once.

  
This boy, man maybe, was sharp and dark, but his skin glowed like an eerie lantern, ivory white and smooth. Dressed in black jeans and black shirts with black hair and black shadows. Grey, pebbled eyes hooked onto Jeremy’s own sunny blue ones. Who even had grey eyes? Was that even possible? Or was this man an alien? Whatever he was, Jeremy wanted it.

  
“I could think of another beautiful thing.” Jeremy smiled bright enough for the moon to be pushed back and the sun to be replaced with his toothy grin.

  
The man ducked his face his face into his shoulder, hiding a flustered expression.

  
“Me, too.” He had replied, lips turning up at the side. He brought his face back up so Jeremy could make out the sharp curve of his cheekbones.

  
It was too dark to see more that just black and eyes of the man, but Jeremy liked what the dim light provided.

  
“I better go.” Jeremy let his smile sadden, remembering his duties when the cheers from the stadium flowed with the breeze.

  
“Me too.” The man repeated. He looked like he wanted to leave Jeremy standing there just as much as Jeremy wanted to leave him standing here in the cold.

Which was not at all.

  
Neither of them moved.

  
Jeremy couldn’t stop finding new things about the man that interested him, now a X shaped scar under one eye and another through the opposite eyebrow.

  
Jeremy wondered how he had gotten them. Then he wanted to touch them.  
Jeremy liked scars, he only had a few himself, small and boring. He like scars like this man had because they held secrets and stories.

  
Then Jeremy allowed his fist to be pried open, a small piece of paper being pressed into his palm. The strangers hands were warm, probably from being buried in his pockets. But then, Jeremy’s hand was cold again.

  
“Don’t take your eyes off me.” And then, like the way he had appeared, the man was gone. Jeremy shivered at the cold, but also at the French accent to the mans voice.

  
Damn!

  
French and good looking!

  
God, Jeremy was dead!

  
Dead!

  
He would have to ask Sara to have lilies take his body out to sea.

  
Cause of death; perfect boys’. Perfect French boys’ with scars and at least six inches of height on Jeremy himself. Perfect French boy’ with scars, six inches of height on Jeremy, broad shoulders, lean muscles, pretty pebble eyes and pink, pouty lips.

  
Jeremy was going to DIE!

The piece of paper was actually a phone number and the man was actually number four, Jean Moreau.

  
JEREMY WAS GOING TO DIE!

  
God, he had always had a crush on Jean Moreau, it’s how he figured out he was bi. He was watching a Ravens VS Catamounts and was instantly captured by the newest member to Edger Allen.

  
They had played each other before, duh, but they had never talked. Jeremy had always been a fanboy and doubted he could control himself. He would have probably declared his love in a romantic poem the moment he got a chance, then would have been escorted out by bodyguards.

  
But, when Jeremy had taken his place on court and eyed his mark with a calm and gentle smile, well he had gasped a bit at the wide grey eyes staring back at him.

  
Dammit!

  
Jeremy was part of the reason his team not only lost, but got demolished. He just could stop making eyes at his mark.

Every twist he made to block the ball had his gaping and when he ran or shot the ball down court, Jeremy got flustered.

  
HE WAS GOING TO BE DEAD!

  
Jean has held back on hurting him too. There were plenty of moments where a powerful check could have gotten him a goal, but Jean didn’t go for them.

  
After the Ravens won 13-5 Jeremy headed for Jean, there was no mid court party like other teams, just Ravens watching each other and the Trojans.

Jean was taking off his helmet when Jeremy reached him. He was puffed, sweaty and flushed. Jean leant heavily on his racket and clutched at his side.

  
Jean has taken a stumble in the first half but the Ravens still let him play, so Jeremy didn’t think it had to be to bad. However, Jean looked to be in a lot of pain now, maybe he had made it worse at the end.

  
“Well,” Jeremy began cheerfully, clucking his racket playfully with Jean’s, “I did what you asked, and I am afraid I regret it.”

  
Jean’s face went from blank to disappointed. He straightened as lifted his leg to walk away but Jeremy raised his hands.

  
“No-not like that-“ Jeremy laughed and Jean watched him closer. “I let my team down, we lost because I did as you asked me to never take my eyes if you. It worked. Good plan.”

  
Jean looked down at his and Jeremy’s shoes and seemed smaller that his 6’2 height.

  
“You weren’t supposed to be a player.” Jean mumbled and Jeremy wanted to sigh. “I saw you watching the stars, like really watching them. The way I do. I-I-like your eyes.” Jeremy couldn’t help but grin.

  
DEAD, JEREMY KNOX WAS DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!

  
“I can text you my hotel room number, swing by later if you can.” Jeremy tested the water. Jean looked back at him with the most hopeful eyes, lips parted in surprise.

  
DEAD!

  
Jean looked over Jeremy’s shoulder.  
“Push me to the ground and call me an idiot.” Jeremy smiled, understanding. “You know, so they don’t think you’re getting friendly with the enemy.”

  
Jean looked at him solemnly. Like he was already apologising.

  
Then, he shoved Jeremy to the ground with a swoop of his arm. Jeremy fell to his butt and them to his back, racket hitting his under the eye. That was going to bruise. Jean almost gasps but then his face hardened.

  
“Don’t talk to me again, scum.” He seethed. Jeremy watched from the floor with a small grin as Jean retreated back to the group of Six. Well, five, Nathaniel was on the bench.

  
Kevin looked from Jean to Jeremy with an understanding yet pitiful gaze.

  
Andrew watched Jeremy with certain disinterested and Riko glared daggers at him.

  
Aaron was scurrying off the court as fast as possible.

  
Jeremy thought about how much this could get him in trouble.

Later, in the lounge, Kevin watched the TV alone as he waited for the rest of the Six.

  
“Jeremy,” shouted someone off screen, “What were you and Jean Moreau talking about after the game?”

  
“Just telling him he did a great job!” Jeremy replied, cocking his head to the side and grinning eyes closed. That was the look of someone giving a shoutout to a person (Jean) without anyone suspecting any meaning behind it.

  
Only Kevin knew that that was also the face of a man sweet talking said person because he was going to get laid tonight. Or at least Jeremy thought that. Jean would never willingly touch a person, no matter how much he craved attention and affection.

  
Jean craved it so much it was sad. Unlike Kevin, Jean’s childhood had been filled with cuddles and goodnight kisses, part of Jean still longed for snuggling up on a couch or kissed on foreheads.

  
Jean and Kevin often found comfort in each other’s platonic affection, being the only people they could do that with.

  
“Jeremy,” a reporter started, “Jean hit you and insulted you after the game today, what do you have to say to him if he watches this?”

  
“I forgive you!” Jeremy grinned at the camera and Kevin was reminded of his celebrity crush. Jean has told he earlier of his meeting with Jeremy Knox, Kevin wasn’t pleased.

  
“Jean, the Master will kill you if you keep it going-“ Kevin had argued.

  
“I know, Kevin! I know!” Jean tugged at his hair, pale cheeks now rosy. “But it’s funny how we have the same taste in guys.”

  
Kevin smirked at remembering Jean saying such a thing. It was kind of funny, but he thought it was probably a product of their environment. They both grew up in hell, so the both liked the idea of an angel. Besides, it’s not like Kevin was envious of Jean, he wasn’t interested in dating Jeremy and if Kevin couldn’t try for Jeremy, than Jean should get a chance. Even if it gets him killed.

  
Riko sat down on the couch beside Kevin, grabbing his collar and aggressively dragging him in for a violent kiss. It ended with Kevin’s lips bleeding and Riko clawing into his cheeks.

  
“When I kiss you,” Riko said, manically high pitched, “kiss back.” He growled.

  
“I’m sorry, Riko.” He whimpered. Riko hummed and dug deeper into his hollow cheeks until the only thing between his fingers was flesh and no space.

  
“When we get back, my little number two,” Riko softly combed his fingers through Kevin’s hair, gentle and affectionate, “We are going to have some fun, yes?”

  
Kevin hated this more than the pain. This was torture, not the stories behind his scars. When Riko treated him well, perfect, like Kevin was precious and delicate. When Riko took care of him and did the things that made Kevin melt.

When Riko tricked him into wanting to stay, that he cared for Kevin and that the aggressive things he did were only side affects of his trauma.

  
Kevin knew -he knew- that Riko didn’t care about him, not in the way Andrew and Neil cared for each other. Kevin admired their relationship, wanted it, envied it, craved it.

  
Maybe he was more like Jean than he thought.

  
Kevin didn’t care for Riko, not romantically like one may think. however, Kevin was very much in love with both Neil and Andrew, but those two were happy to remain a two and not a three.

This meant Riko had to do.

  
Riko began humming a Japanese lullaby and pulled Kevin to lay on his chest, Kevin shivered. Kevin let himself be fooled again into feeling cherished. He closed his eyes and hummed contently.

  
“My perfect number two,” Riko whispered, “so precious and innocent.” They didn’t move until the other team members began to file in.

Asking Riko for permission to leave the Nest for the night was something Jean was petrified of.

  
It wasn’t like he was afraid of Riko denying his request, well he did, he really wanted to see Jeremy again. It was the fear of him asking why, and Jean stuttering some half-assed lie that got him beaten and-

  
Jean shuttered in his armchair. The Six sat a few hours after the game, in the lounge, Kevin sitting between Riko’s legs of the floor and Andrew high on his meds, twirling a life around in the wooden arm of the couch he share with Neil. Neil stayed to the other end of the couch, he didn’t like to be close to Andrew when he was on his meds.

Andrew was apathetic and overall Neil didn’t like how Andrew acted on them.  
Jean took a big breath in and mustered up all his flimsy courage.

  
“Riko,” Jean muttered too quiet for anyone to hear. he closed his eyes and pictured Jeremy’s beautiful grin, this made him want to try again. “Riko,” He said again, the time calling everyone’s attention, “I-I would like permission to...to leave the Nest for the night, return in the morning in time for practice at seven o’clock.”

  
Riko stroked Kevin’s black hair as he contemplated Jean for a moment. Kevin watched Jean, however, looking worried.

  
“What for?” Riko arched an eyebrow. Jean felt so small all of a sudden, like he was a speck compared to Riko. And he was.

  
“I have a history essay due tomorrow afternoon and the research books I need are at the 24/7 library.” Jean choked out a lie. Riko was an idiot if he believed it. Jean was certain that was is, the half-assed excuse had ruined everything.

  
“Alright.” Riko agreed. Jean couldn’t believe it. He blinked a few times, but Riko was still watching him, then he looked down and Kevin, considering his pet for a moment, tracing the 2 on his cheek with a vile grin. He leant down to kiss it, Kevin slouched back onto the couch between Riko’s legs, sighing. “Only if number Two goes with you.”

  
Kevin almost whined in disagreement. His eyes shot open to beg at Riko, but Riko wasn’t paying him any mind. He looked let down and Jean knew Riko had promised him something tonight.

  
Jean didn’t care, he was allowed to go.

And he was saving Kevin from further destroying his mental health.

  
Jean was grinning widely and jumping out of his seat, not being able to wait any longer to see Jeremy.

  
“Four!” Riko snapped at him, “You will call me every hour, show me the essay when you return and be back in time for practice. Kevin will also be reporting back to me with no lies. Got it?”

  
Jean bowed his head. “Yes, sir.”

  
“Good.” Riko shoved Kevin’s shoulder, sending him flying forward onto his face. “Get up, Two.” He said, grunting.

  
Kevin crawled off the ground and followed Jean out, still mopping about.

The two walked hand in hand through the underground hallways and out of hell.

  
When they reached the parking lot, Jean sighed in relief. He looked up at the stars, at how beautiful they were.

  
He sent a quick text to Jeremy, be there in ten, and turned to a pouting Kevin.

  
“Are you going to tell me why you’re sooking?” Jean finally grunted. He strode to the motorcycles’ to find one that didn’t give him bad vibes.

  
“Nothin’-Riko just said I could maybe top-“ Kevin mumbled.

  
“Kevin!” Jean grabbed his friend by the shoulders, shaking him. He felt so back for Kevin. “He. Does. Not. Care. About. You.”

  
“I know-“

  
“Shut up Kev, I don’t want to watch you get hurt because of this.” Jean sat Kevin down on one of the motorbikes the Ravens kept in the car park.

  
Jean grabbed Kevin’s right hand, holding it up between them.

  
“You see all these scars?” Jean asked. “He did this to you, Kevin Day. Riko does not deserve you.”

  
Kevin sucked on his lower lip and Jean covered the two on his cheek.

  
“If I stop wanting, he’ll just take without asking.” Kevin mumbled. Jean understood, he did.

  
Jean scooted back on the leather seat and sat on the bike behind Kevin, tugging a helmet on and handing the other to Kevin who turned the beast on.

  
“Just don’t tell him we’re going to see Jeremy tonight, okay?” Kevin agreed with a grunt.

Jeremy was beginning to think Jean wasn’t turning up, he said he there in ten but it had been thirty minutes and Jean wasn’t picking up his phone.

  
Jeremy couldn’t place when he had begun pacing in front of the TV, but he couldn’t stop.

  
Did he do something wrong?

  
Did Jean become disinterested in Jeremy?

  
Did Riko do something?

  
That last one was a stupid thought, why would Riko do something to hurt his brother?

  
Jeremy was just reeling on anxiety.  
He was about to call when he heard a knock at his private room door. Captain and coach go private rooms while the rest of the team shared. Perks of being Captain Van Sunshine as the team called him.

  
Jeremy scrambled to the door faster than he’d like to admit, opening it as fast and excitedly as possible. He grinned jewels and crystals at Jean who stood at his doorstep.

  
God, he looked like the hot version of Satan. Hair pushed back, cheeks flushed from the cold, matte black helmet tucked under his arm and clothes all ruffled.

Black shirt riding up a bit on the left lantern skin showing, black jeans twisted around the ankles and waist, leather jacket falling off one shoulder.

  
He had run up here, up all those flights of stairs, Jeremy just knew it.

  
Jean did a twice over Jeremy, noticing the black jeans, pastel yellow and knitted jumper that was more like a poncho and the black choker. His eyes lingered in the black piece of velvet, watching the silver cross press to Jeremy’s throat.

  
Jeremy was going to die tonight.

  
Then Jeremy’s eyes locked with a green pair.

  
“Sorry, Kevin-“ Jean began but what he was going to say apparently didn’t fit right because he shook his head and stared again, “Ravens don’t go anywhere alone.”

  
Jeremy smiled and let them into his room. It was simple but cozy, just the way Jeremy liked it.

  
A bed pressed to one wall, a single couch in front of the TV that hung from the opposite wall, mini bar and kitchen next to that and the bathroom around the corner from the front door.

  
Kevin went straight for the kitchenette and opened the fridge, pulling out some beers that were actually meant for Jean and Jeremy. He cracked one open and sculled in down.

  
Jeremy gaped at how Kevin could not say a word to him, steel Jeremy’s drinks before finishing said drink in five seconds.

  
Jean chuckled, curling his pinky finger around Jeremy’s sleeve.

  
“Don’t mind him, as long as there is alcohol, Kevin will leave us alone.” Jean chuckled in his ear. God, Jeremy loved that sound already. Then Jeremy realised Jean said ‘alone’ which meant Jean didn’t bring Kevin here to stop the two of them from being alone.

  
The thought made him giddy.

  
He smiled up at Jean who watched Kevin with amusement dancing in those eyes.  
“You look nice.” Jeremy complemented. Jean went red all the way under his shirt.

  
“You too,” Jean spluttered, looking everywhere else but Jeremy.

  
“Do you like to choker?” Jeremy asked. “Sara left it in my room, and I got bored waiting so I just...” Jeremy waved his hand disinterestedly like that was the actual story and it was boring, which it was. The real story was that he stormed into the girls room, begging them to make him look as smashable as possible. Something had been missing from the outfit so he dug the choker out of Sara’s duffel bag and demanded he wear it.

Jean perused his lips, nodding.

  
This outfit was doing it’s job perfectly.  
However, Jean was telling the truth, Kevin drank all the liquor in the small hotel room and spent the night getting drunk on the balcony which Jeremy thought was a dangerous place to leave a drunk man. Jeremy and Jean, however, sat on the same couch, a pillow between them, and watched a movie. Jean sat with his knees to his chest and Jeremy sitting sideways (facing Jean) with his legs curled up under him.

  
The movie was something about an alien, or maybe a superhero, Jeremy was a bit distracted to know. They had popcorn and Jeremy ate four packets of Maltesers by the second add break.

  
Their hands brushed against each other’s more than once in the popcorn bowl, making Jean shiver every time. It was cute that Jean got blushy over small things like that. Jeremy was always used to being the clingy and flustered one in the couple, but if this thing between the two of them kept going like this...well, Jeremy might find himself to be the one being cuddled except for the opposite. Not that he minded of course, it would just be different.

  
The movie finished and so was the popcorn. Jeremy places down the bowl on the carpeted floor and finally looked at Jean properly. He was surprised to find Jean already watching him. He gasped a bit at the dark grey -almost black- that Jean’s eyes had turned.

  
Jeremy really wanted to touch his scars. So he asked, “May I?” With fingers a hair from Jean actually soft skin. Jean nodded, so Jeremy pressed two fingers to the X shaped scar below Jean’s left eye. The scar was raised and barely a shade lighter that Jean’s already albino skin.

  
Jean let his eyes flutter closed, gorgeous long eyelashes brushing against Jeremy’s fingers like a fairy kiss and let his lungs deflate.

  
Jean’s hand slid around the pillow to press his fingertips lightly to Jeremy’s ankle. Jeremy put his hand over his, fingers sliding into place. Jeremy’s two fingers went from the scar to the underside of Jean’s chin, tilting his whole face up.

  
Jean was leaning in when Kevin burst in, phone in his hands like an alien had fallen into them.

  
“Riko is calling!”


	3. When we broke the rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew is lying, but Nathaniel sees just how terrified the man is. Jean looses the sun and Aaron is jealous.

Andrew felt sick to his stomach. He actually felt like throwing up when he entered his shared room with the other five.

They had just gotten back from the two weeks they spent in Columbia for Riko’s yearly bonding trip.

Nathaniel had caught his hand, but Andrew couldn’t bare the touch so he snatched it back. His skin crawled and everyone was silent. He hated that he couldn’t touch Nathaniel of all people, his...boyfriend. God, that new word was worse. Boyfriend, it shouldn’t have happened to Andrew, getting a boyfriend, but it did. And it suck. 

He knew what was going to happen just as much as they did. Riko hadn’t put a finger on Andrew over the trip, waiting until they got home to make Andrew’s own bed a triggering thought. 

Nathaniel un packed all their stuff from the shared suitcase they took, looking through their clothes but gave up on trying to figure out who’s was who’s. He threw them all into the clothes basket in the middle of the room, just like the others for the to be washed. 

Nathaniel got back to the bed, squinting slightly to be able to see Andrew properly in the dim light of the room. 

The room was always so empty, small beds like those from a jail cell were pressed against three walls for each of the boys, even though Nathaniel rarely used his. Underneath the metal framed beds were plastic boxes for their clothes. Next to each bed was a small desk and a lamp. That was all, no posters or photos or book shelves. 

Nathaniel sat down next to Andrew on his bed, then huddled into the corner and brought his knees to his chest. He was still black and blue and cut at thrashed from what his father had done to him in a fit of burning white rage. It reminded Andrew of why he was doing this, giving up everything he had worked for. 

For this stupid junkie, he was giving up everything. 

“You’re crazy.” Nathaniel said and patted the spot next to him. Andrew cast a glance at the others who were trying hard to pretend that he didn’t exist while putting their clothes away under their beds. 

Finally, Andrew crawled up next to Nathaniel, not touching him, but close enough to feel his body heat, it was comforting and disgusting at the same time.

“Andrew, don’t do this. We can figure something out.” Nathaniel sighed, fingers tapping on the thin sheets between them. 

“Shut up, junkie.” Andrew spat. 

“Andrew, I’m not letting you do this. Not because of me, not because of anything.” Nathaniel whispered harshly in his ear. Andrew gaged when the door opened. Riko stepped in, Kevin limping behind him.  
Andrew felt his pulse thump in his wrists and neck. He saw Drake. The same smile. The same sinister intent. 

Andrew grasped at the sheets. 

Was Riko going to make everyone watch?

Was he going to make Nathaniel watch? 

Was he going to use Andrew’s knives against him?

“Little number Five,” Riko began, “I do hope you have finished settling in.” 

Andrew’s head spun, but he kept his blank face. God, he was going to black out. 

Memories flooded his brain, Riko turning to Drake and Drake to Riko. It was like a camera shuttering between two photos, two terrible photos. Riko stalking towards him, then Drake, then Riko. 

If Andrew were younger, he’d whimper, beg for Drake to not do what he was about to. 

But Andrew was older, and please was such a disgusting word. 

Nathaniel struggled to wriggle out from between the wall and Andrew. Andrew tried to stop him but he was swatted away. 

“Riko,” Nathaniel started and Andrew sensed a speech, “leave.” No speech or anything, just a strong and simple word. It held much more authority than a whole speech would. Yet Riko still laughed. In his messed up, sick mind, Nathaniel was a stupid little red head who was worth less than a single straw. 

“I’ve come to claim what was promised to me.” He said, sliding his gaze over to Andrew, keeping him frozen in a state of threatened. Andrew’s shoulders tensed and his heart rate picked up. He kept a blank, almost bored face and Nathaniel was the only one that saw through the obvious mask. 

Andrew’s mouth twisted up into a drugged grin. If he was drugged, this would almost be easier. It would be easier to throw away his humanity if he was the drugged monster that everyone believed him to be. Everyone but Neil and Kevin. Jean thought he was a monster, just not the worst kind. Kevin knew he wasn’t a monster because he was around before. He was around when Andrew had beaten that Raven Boy within an inch of his pathetic life when Raven Boy had grabbed him upon his second night in the Nest. 

Nathaniel knew he wasn’t a monster because he was there through the nightmares, there through the mornings that followed and there when Andrew hated the world and saw only grey. The things Nathaniel had witnessed made Andrew, apparently, more human than any other person. 

“It’s fine, Nathaniel.” Andrew mocked. Andrew wasn’t on his drug right now, he didn’t play with it in his system. He hated the drug, he loathed the person he became on it. He often lied that he had taken it, this was one of those times. Still, the others thought he was dosed up so he had to pretend. Had to grin and laugh and mock. 

“Andrew, if you seriously think I am letting this maggot take you away to his freak den, than you are stupid.” Nathaniel looked dead in Riko’s storming eyes as he spoke, spitting the insults like fire. God, Andrew hated his idiot more than the world. 

“Not as much as you are.” Andrew chimed. “Are you sure Your learning curve isn’t a horizontal line, Nathaniel?” 

Riko Advanced towards Nathaniel, teeth sharp and hungry. He was going to rip Nathaniel to shreds, tear out his heart. Andrew went to stride forward but then-

Then Jean’s phone chimed. Riko stopped dead, sneer replaced with the most evil grin, more venomous than Andrew had ever seen in his three years at the Nest. 

“Four,” Riko slyly said, “give me your phone. Now. Please.” Riko relished in the flinch Andrew provided at the word Andrew so hated. 

Riko reaches out his hand, palm side up. 

Jean didn’t move for the longest time, doing the thing where he curled his faint body into a ball, but then he slowly crawled off his bed with his phone clutched to his chest. Riko snatched it when Jean got close enough and shoved Jean to the floor. Jean whimpered a heartbreaking sound. He clawed out for his phone. 

Riko let out a laugh as he read the text. It was a genuine laugh, clutching his gut and throwing his head back. This, this snippet was the closes Riko had ever been to looking like a real person. 

“From Jer, night sky emoji, heart emoji,” Riko kicked Jean onto his back by the chest, crushing his throat with his booted foot then opened the message. He made a snorting sound before showing it down at Jean who sucked his bottom lip when he saw the message. “‘miss you’ with a very nice photo, don’t you agree, Four?” 

Riko showed the photo to everyone in the room, Jeremy Knox bundled up in blankets and Jean’s Raven hoodie with a tub of ice cream and tears in his eyes. He was pouting and hugging a Raven plushy with a four under its eye, clearly from the Edger Allen Merch Shop. 

Riko threw the phone on the floor and crushed it under his foot. He knelt down to get right in Jean’s face. “If I ever see something like that again, or if I find out you are getting friendly with another team’s captain again, i will kill them and then I will ruin anything you’ve ever cared for.” 

Jean whimpered and even Andrew felt sympathetic for his teammate. But barely. 

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!” Riko roared like a dragon. 

Jean nodded hastily, gasping something like ‘yes, my captain’ but Andrew couldn’t be sure. 

“And don’t think you won’t be punished!” Riko stormed out, completely forgetting about Andrew for which the man in question was thankful. 

Jean curled onto his side, a sobbing mess. Kevin slid down next to him and hugged Jean to his chest. 

Nathaniel looked sad when he turned back to Andrew. Andrew knew he felt bad for Jean, but in Andrew’s mind it was his own fault. Jean knew it was against Riko’s rules, yet he still decided to break them. 

“I know what you are thinking,” Nathaniel muttered accusingly, “and don’t. We are basically breaking the rules too, so unless you want to end this-“  
“There is no ‘this’-“  
“Than don’t blame Jean.” Nathaniel finished. They both knew that there was a ‘this’ but Andrew just didn’t want to admit it. Nathaniel didn’t know why, but Andrew was pretty sure he could have an understanding. Andrew was so used to being left after being taken from, as long as there was no ‘this’, no label that made things real, there was no abandonment. 

Nathaniel reached up a hand, a breath away from Andrew’s heart. “Yes or no?” 

“Yes.” Andrew said flatly. 

Nathaniel places his hand over Andrew’s heart, not moving it from it’s allowed spot. 

“I know you aren’t heartless, Andrew. You aren’t a monster. Don’t act like it when you don’t have to.” Andrew rolled his eyes. “‘Drew, I mean it.”

“Whatever idiot.” That was a yes and both of them knew it. Andrew took a step closer, just far enough to not be touching but close enough to feel comfort. “Can I kiss you? Yes or no?” 

Nathaniel looked over his shoulder where Jean rocked back and forth, gazing at his phone like it was a person lying dead in front of him. Which it almost was. It was the closest thing to Jeremy he had, and it had been killed. 

“No, not just now.” So Andrew stepped back, happy to wait until later. 

Nathaniel left his side to sit beside Four, patting his shoulder and whispering sweet, comforting things. Andrew was suddenly reminded of the list of reasons he fell in love with this idiot. 

Aaron didn’t always like not talking. 

Sometimes it was calming or easier to just say nothing. Other times it was torture to not be able to say the words stuck in your throat. 

When Riko had beaten him, abused him, took from him in order to find out what the other five were planning, Aaron wanted to die. God, he wanted to die so much then. He didn’t want to say anything, he wanted to be able to escape. Then, Riko had threatened to pay a visit to Nicky in hospital and Aaron had no choice.  
After that, Aaron was never speaking again. 

Not speaking made him almost like a ghost, nobody really remembered he existed, not even Riko. Aaron has it easiest out of everyone, he knew that. He had less triggers to pray on than his brothers and less fun to torture because he didn’t beg for mercy. Riko had gotten bored of him two two years ago. 

This meant Aaron was an observer, watching his team. He knew more than he lead on. 

Such as; Andrew was rarely on his meds, he could tell by one vein that was prominent along his bicep when he was off the drugs. 

Nathaniel had a British accent he hid because it made his father angry, Aaron knew this because the way he said certain words like yogurt and book. 

Kevin was the son of David Wymack, the PSU Foxes coach, Kevin always looked at him with guilt and grief in his eyes when they were in the same room. 

Jean was going to kill himself on graduation, Aaron had seen a notification for a count down until ‘the end’ pop up on his phone, Aaron checked and it lined up with graduations and there was a bottle of pills tucked into his underwear drawer. 

Riko was constantly looking for approval from anyone, making sure someone was watching him all the time. 

Aaron noticed everything, but nobody noticed him. 

It has been two weeks since the Jeremy fiasco and Jean was still wandering around in a depressed daze, only getting out of bed for practice and for when Riko wanted to punish him. Aaron knew what Riko was doing to Jean in his room. It was disgusting. 

Aaron has heard crying out and begging behind Riko’s door one night when he was timing how long it took him to get from his room to the exit of the Nest. 

When he got back, Jean was climbing into his bed. They had made eye contact. Aaron mouthed, “I am getting us out of here.” And tucked himself into his bed.  
Jean didn’t even ask what he meant the next day. He just let it go. 

Riko had a meeting with his uncle so the five snuck out for breakfast at a local cafe before class. 

They got weird looks, five men dressed in nothing but black and all looking murderous. 

Andrew ordered an iced coffee that had two scoops of ice cream in it and waffles with extra everything. 

Kevin got the eggs and Benedict and a latte. 

Jean got a black tea and no food. He hadn’t eaten much since the incident. 

Nathaniel got a cap and a smoothie bowl. 

Andrew kept feeding Nathaniel bites of his waffles, eyes growing darker and darker with every bite Nathaniel took off his fork. Andrew was almost sitting in Nathaniel’s lap after leaning closer and closer with every bite. 

Aaron grunted. 

Andrew raised an eyebrow at his brother in annoyed questioning. He sat back down in his seat. 

“Wish to share your problem, brother of mine?” Andrew said, handing Nathaniel another bite. Nathaniel rolled his eyes but still ate it. Aaron knew it must have been too sweet for him to enjoy, with the extra ice cream and chocolate syrup. 

Aaron just gestured at the two. 

“And?” Andrew asked, annoyed. “Have a problem that I’m getting laid and you’re not not, do you?” 

Nathaniel choked on his coffee, eyes bulged out of his skull. He slammed a palm to his chest when he began gasping for air. 

Andrew raised his eyebrows again, Aaron groaned and sunk into his chair. 

“Thought so.” Andrew sneered and went back to staring hungrily at Nathaniel’s mouth as he ate. 

Aaron really wanted to die.


	4. When we ran into the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin is going to need more than a drink after this

Riko’s room was cold and dark, with one lamp. It was big and ominous and full of shadows. It had cold concrete walls and floors, weapons and devices hidden in drawers and a dead flower in a glass on his desk. 

Kevin had plucked that flower from the park on his morning run with Nathaniel for Riko’s birthday last month, Riko had left it to wilt and die. 

Riko killed everything Kevin gave him, Kevin’s love, his affection, his trust, his hand. 

Kevin collapsed onto Riko’s chest in exhaustion. Their sweaty skin slapped together and Kevin panted like a dog. His whole body ached and sweat and flushed. Riko was always brutal when the two did anything together, but Riko was angry today so he was even more cruel. 

Kevin was bleeding from several different places, including his behind from two different locations. He was bruised and his wrists and ankles had rope burn. 

Riko was mad about something, probably the meeting with the Master this morning, and he was taking it out on Kevin again. 

“What’s wrong, King?” Kevin asked into Riko built chest. He took in the smell of Riko, the smell that he was growing accustomed to finally. Salty blood and sweat, tangy lemon and expensive shampoo. It was a nice smell, except for the first smell, but it wasn’t cinnamon or sugar or coffee or wind or cigarettes. 

Kevin loved those smells. 

“Nothing, baby, nothing at all.” Riko replied. 

“You can tell me, was it the Master? Did he say something to upset you?” Kevin pushed. He nuzzled closer into the crook of Riko’s neck, fluttering his extremely long eyelashes against the red skin that covered the slope of Riko’s neck. 

Riko grabbed Kevin’s hair and yanked his head up fast enough Kevin got whiplash. It shot up his skull and down his spine. 

Kevin whimpered like a baby puppy. 

He’s just mad! 

It’s all your fault, you pushed him. 

He isn’t always so mean. 

He loves you. 

He loves you! 

HE LOVES YOU!

Kevin needed to stop lying to himself. Riko hates his gutes. He knew all this, how worthless he really was, but like he had told Jean; Riko will just take anyway. 

“Grow up.” Riko growled at Kevin. “Don’t be such a pussy.” Riko’s grip on Kevin’s hair only grew tighter, bringing Kevin’s head back to a painful angle. “And listen to me for one God Damn time, you pathetic piece of ass.” 

Riko threw Kevin off the bed and Kevin’s head thwacked wetly against the concrete floor. Kevin grasped for something to cover his naked body, but Riko pulled the sheets of his bed away. 

Kevin’s head thumped, an aching patch on the back on his skull from where it collided with the floor. He reached back to touch the spot of the back of his head, his hair was dry and there was no blood. Kevin sighed. 

A squeak from the bed was what made Kevin open his eyes. Riko was getting off the bed, looking dangerous and hungry for Kevin’s blood. Kevin began crawling back, away from this monster. 

His heart was pounding and the shadows blurred already unclear lines. Kevin shook as he shuffled away. 

“Riko-I’m sorry-“ Kevin begged. “Please, I just-I care about you and I wanted to help-“ Kevin whimpered when Riko cackled. Riko was striding forward and Kevin had hit a wall. Kevin glances around rapidly, searching for something that could protect him. 

Then Riko got the Exy racket off the wall and held it like a weapon, a spear. 

Kevin sobbed. 

“Please-” Kevin’s plead got suck in his throat when the racket slashed into his ribs from the side. Kevin screamed, falling to the side as he clutched at his side. 

White pain shot through his whole body, Kevin couldn’t feel where it was coming from, just one spot or multiple or all over. 

Riko kicked him onto his back and then stood on his chest. He had the racket over Kevin’s right hand, pinning it down above his head. He had the butt of the pole pushing into the back of the hand hard enough to bruise. 

“Riko-“ 

“It’s ‘King’ to you.” Riko seethed. “Tetsuji thinks you’re better than me, same with the press, but look at you. Kevin Day, son of Exy, whimpering and begging for mercy. It’s pathetic. I’ll show them who should be number one. ME!” 

The butt of the racket smashed down on Kevin’s hand, a crunch loud enough to feel sounded and bounced of the walls. Kevin scream and scream, wailing like a banshee. He screamed for help, for mercy, for forgiveness, then he just screamed. 

The pain was excruciating but nothing compared to the thought, the truth. 

He was never going to be able to play Exy again. 

What were the Moriyama’s going to do with him, he couldn’t do what he was meant to do from birth. He was worthless. 

Riko’s laughter was drowned out with a gargle. A blade sunk deep into his throat, bursting an artery. 

Riko’s eyes widened, sad and big and beautiful. Then he was choking on his own blood, it was gushing from his mouth. He spilled down him chin, down his bare chest, mixing with the blood escaping from his throat. All that blood ran down his body in think, scarlet rivers. 

Then, Riko’s big, sad and beautifully crazy eyes rolled back into his skull and he crumpled like paper. 

There was a wet smack when Riko’s still, blood soaked body fell onto Kevin’s. Kevin wailed, pulling his face up. He cupped this monster’s face with his loving hand and begged for Riko to wake up. 

Wake up!

Wake up!

Please, just wake up! 

Nothing worked, Riko looked unfocused at Kevin. 

Riko Moriyama was dead. 

Nathaniel ripped Kevin from Riko, which was difficult considering the size difference. Kevin fought for him freedom, punching and kicking Nathaniel but he wasn’t let go. 

Nathaniel kept Kevin tucked to his chest with effort, covering his eyes with Nathaniel hand as Andrew yanked his knife from Riko’s neck. Andrew had his manic smile plastered on his beautiful face as he dragged the blade along Riko’s cheek. 

The tattoo Riko wore with pride had been mutilated by that blade Andrew held. It was one of the most beautiful things Nathaniel had ever seen. 

“Andrew, we need to go.” Nathaniel called. Andrew didn’t hear him, or chose to ignore him. Andrew kept dragging the knife along his body, reaching his groin. “Andrew-“ 

“No, it’s what I should do. After what he did to you, to Kevin, my brother, Jean. Nicky. This asshole-“ 

“Isn’t going to hurt anyone again, not me, not anyone.” Nathaniel said in a quiet voice. He stroked back Kevin’s hair as he whimpered. Nathaniel pressed a kiss to his temple, not really thinking about it. His mother had never done anything like that to him, but Nathaniel knew it was supposed to be a calming act. “Drew?” 

“Let’s get the others.” Andrew stood, ticking the knife back into his bands. “We get out of here tonight.” 

Andrew was stronger so he had to haul a barely dressed Kevin around the Nest. When they found the others, then Jean could take over. 

Nathaniel walked ahead of them, checking for any wandering Ravens. 

It was past curfew, but a few Ravens’, especially the new ones, liked to sneak out at night. 

“First time Nathaniel kisses you and you’re out of it.” Andrew murmured. Kevin tensed next to him, it was barely but the two were pressed side to side. 

“Andrew, I don’t know what you’re-“ Kevin tried to argue. Andrew covered his mouth with his hand to shut him up. His pushed right up against Kevin, a breath apart. 

“Don’t insult my intelligence, Kevin.” Andrew whispered, his huffs of breath fanned over Kevin’s face. “I know about you’re interests in the both of us.” 

Kevin tried to push away, but he stumbled. Kevin’s breath caught from moving his aching side. 

Nathaniel rushes to catch him when Andrew just stood by and watched Kevin fold in on himself. 

“Andrew- a little help?” Andrew shrugged Kevin’s arm around his neck and Nathaniel copied. Together they hauled him back to the room. 

Jean was studying in his bed when the door was thrown open. He expected Riko to barge in, but was relieved to see it was just the missing three. 

Nathaniel and Andrew had slipped out just after curfew to go the the stadium roof and Kevin never came back after practice. 

Then Jean realised, there was no reason to be relieved. Kevin was leaning heavily on Andrew and was covered in blood. He was breathing shallowly and his right hand was mangled. 

Jean shot out of bed and stole Kevin of the two shorties. He set Kevin on the closest bed to the door, Nathaniel’s, and started examining his wounds. 

His playing hand was shattered and crushed and ruined. A broken rib and probably a concussion. 

“Riko has gone to far this time-“ Jean roared, reaching for a splint from the kit he kept under his bed. 

“Riko is dead.” Andrew sung. 

Jean didn’t believe it. He laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“No-“ 

“Yes.” Nathaniel placed a hand on Jean’s shoulder. “Drew killed him. We are free.” 

Jean Moreau never cried, he hadn’t since the airport in Marseille ten years ago, but just then Jean’s eyes welled up. No tears fell however, they just stayed in his eyes. Jean was never going to cry again, but this almost made him brake his promise to his younger self. 

Aaron watched, like always in silence, the scene that folded out in front of him. 

Riko, dead. 

Aaron has wanted to hear those words every moment of everyday for the past three years. Now that they were actually being said out loud and they were a truth. 

He almost expected to wake up and it all be a sick dream. He didn’t know if he could manage if that happened, but this was real life. Aaron’s brother had murdered Riko Moriyama and they were all free. 

Aaron understood, almost, why Andrew had killed their mother now. To protect, he killed Riko to protect them, Andrew killed Tilda to protect Aaron. 

He almost apologised to Andrew for not understanding before, but it wasn’t the time. 

“Kevin,” Aaron croak, voice raspy from not being used for years, “Can you walk?” Kevin looked at him in a daze, he looked surprised to be spoken too by Aaron. Anyone should. “Can you, Kevin?” 

Kevin blinked. “Y-Yeah.” 

“Good, because we need to get out of here within 5 minutes. Just follow me.” Aaron was off his bed and too the door within five seconds and Jean was following with Kevin using him for support. 

They snuck through the hallways of the place that they hated to call home for the last time. They turned all the corners Aaron had lost sleep over walking. They traveled the way Aaron had spent the past two weeks mapping out. 

There was one point when they came across the Backliner, Sid, and the Striker, Toby hooking up in one of the gyms. Andrew had almost blown their cover by laughing. They had to run after that, and Kevin was clearly loathing Andrew in that moment. 

The leg of the trip of to climb up the stairs. 

Kevin watched the fifty stairs like it was covered in snakes or spiders or something hideous. 

“I can’t-“ Kevin shook his head. 

“Kevin,” Andrew began, a sly smile teasing Kevin, “If you make it up those stairs, I’ll kiss you as a reward.” 

Kevin went bright red. Nathaniel gaped at Andrew, shocked. 

“O-Okay,” Kevin squeaked out in embarrassment. Jean watched him wearily as he latched onto Kevin again. Jean retracted his arm with a grimace. 

“You’re bleeding!” He hissed. Jean went to lift up Kevin’s shirt to check out the wound but foot steps, loud and heavy, were aimed towards the stairs they were waiting at the bottom of. 

“Look at it later, Frenchie!” Nathaniel whisper-yelled. He grasped Andrew’s hand and began running up the stairs with him. Jean pulled Kevin to him again and began the ascent. Aaron followed into the brisk night air. 

Nathaniel and Andrew were waiting next to Andrew’s black Mercedes anxiously when the others stumbled through the doors, recognising the sound of foot steps behind them growing louder. 

“Run!” Nathaniel yelled. Andrew covered his mouth to stop him from blowing their cover. Aaron helped Kevin and Jean to stagger over to the car as fast as the could. 

Aaron was running on adrenaline and anxiety. They had found the body, he knew. They were after them. 

When they got to the car, the door to the Nest slammed open, Tetsuji and the other Ravens pushed through violently. 

“Run!” This Time it was Andrew yelling at the to get into the car. Aaron shoved Kevin into the car and got in after him. Jean ran around the other side while Nathaniel and Andrew got in the front, the shorter one driving. 

Tetsuji had pulled out a gun and aimed it at Nathaniel’s window. He let go of the trigger and the bullet shattered the window, the next one embedded itself in Nathaniel’s shoulder. Nathaniel yelled out, ‘Drive!’ and Andrew smashed through motorcycles and trash cans to get out of the car park. 

The back window exploded behind Aaron’s head and he ducked. 

Someone was yelling but Aaron couldn’t hear. His heart was pumping to loud, his ears deaf with shock and adrenaline. 

“Holy shit!” Aaron sighed. “We did it.” 

“Not yet we haven’t.” Jean argued. “We don’t have anywhere to go.” 

“Palmetto University,” Kevin gasped, clutching at his side, “Wymack- the coach-he is my father-“


	5. When I chose death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathaniel has a panic attack, Wymack walks in on Kevin in a awkward moment, Jean looses a fight, Jeremy is the first person to think of Nathaniel as Neil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, drug and suicide warnings

David Wymack answered the door with the enthusiasm of a sloth. To be fair, it was three in the morning and the five of them had pounded on his door. 

He swung it open after the fourth knock, dressed in sweats and a singlet. His eyes were hooded with sleep and he was hunched. 

“What the-holy shit!” Wymack exclaimed, he instantly woke up. 

“Look, can you just let us in?” Nathaniel groaned. They had been driving for ten hours and just needed a break, he was so tied even though Andrew and him had split the trip so they could sleep. He was more mentally exhausted. 

Kevin had bleed out all over the back seat of the car and Nathaniel had had to use one of his socks to tie up his gun shot. 

Wymack opened the door and waved them all inside, he stumbled over some mail next to the door as he showed them through the house. He guided Kevin to the couch and Nathaniel to the arm chair in the living room. 

Wymack began pacing, talking into the phone. “Abby, I need you...no, for your medical skills...yes and for that too, look I have two beaten up Ravens’ on my couch and the rest of the five...I know...Ab-please...thank you.” 

Wymack hung up the phone then called a new number. “Dan, round up the Foxes and come to my house. Yes it’s important! Be here!” 

Wymack finally sighed after he slipped the cell into the pocket of his sweats and looked at the young men sitting in his living room. 

Kevin, half alive on his couch, Andrew sitting in the arm chair now with Nathaniel sitting on his lap while he examined the wound to his shoulder, Aaron looking through a book from the floor with a complete relaxed posture and Jean staring at the home phone like it was a murder weapon. 

“You wanna call someone, kid?” Wymack addressed Jean first because it seemed the easiest thing to deal with. Boy was he wrong. 

“I don’t remember his number,” Jean mumbled as a reply. His fist relaxed by his side. “Not off by heart.” 

“Who is it?” Wymack asked. He leant against the window sill, eyes drifting to Kevin, his son, Nathaniel remembered. 

Nathaniel wondered whether or not Wymack knew. 

“Jeremy Knox, Trojans captain.” Jean said, like Wymack wouldn’t know who Jeremy Knox was. 

“Why?” Wymack asked like he was wondering how a Raven knew a Trojan. 

“Because he’s my boyfriend and he thinks I’m dead.” Wymack pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. 

“I don’t have the kids contact, but I could find it if it’s really important.” Wymack proposed. Jean nodded and sat in his spot, falling asleep as soon as his head his the wall. “Alright, I’m going to change, Abby should be here soon to fix you up.” 

Wymack left to him room almost more sluggish than when he answered the door. 

Andrew removed the sock that was drenched in blood from around Nathaniel’s arm. He threw it onto the coffee table and moved Nathaniel so he was straddling his hips. Nathaniel’s head hung in exhaustion between them as Andrew sussed out the bullet hole. 

“Drew, ‘m tied.” He had meant to say ‘tired’ but his mouth was slacking. Andrew cupped his face, making Nathaniel look him in the eye. He was serious but clearly just as tired as the rest of them. 

“Sleep, Neil.” Nathaniel shivered, Andrew rarely used his nickname and there was something about the way he sounded when he actually said it. “I’ll protect you.” 

“Always?” Nathaniel knew the answer to this question, but he needed to hear it after the last twenty four hours. 

“As long as I live.” Andrew gripped the back of Nathaniel neck to brace his head to Andrew shoulder. 

The way Andrew said that sounded a lot like, ‘I love you’ and Nathaniel hated that he was unsure. 

He knew how he felt, but had no idea how Andrew felt. He should just ask but it never felt like the right time. Maybe, after all this blows over and Riko is no more, maybe he could ask. If Andrew is still around then. 

He hadn’t remembered falling asleep, but knew it had happened. When he woke up, sunlight was peaking in through the curtains and Andrew was still sliding his fingers through the short hair on the back of Nathaniel’s neck. Andrew had a strong arm keeping their bodies tightly pressed and used his thumb to rub little circles at the waistband of the jeans he was still wearing from yesterday. 

“Have you got a problem there, princess?” Andrew growled lowly, clearly still thinking Nathaniel was asleep and didn’t want to wake him. 

“Nah,” The person Andrew had addressed replied. “Just, from the stuff I’ve seen of you, you’re a monster. But here you are, babysitting your boyfriend.” 

Nathaniel recognised this person as Allison Reynolds, number seven for the Palmetto Foxes. 

Nathaniel wanted to announce his awakness by claiming Andrew was not a monster, but he was still too tired to say anything. 

“Leave them alone, Allison.” This was obviously Dan Wilds, the captain. She was somewhere near the entry to the lounge room. “He killed Riko Moriyama with the same knives he has under the wristbands, I wouldn’t cross him.” 

Nathaniel shot up, he didn’t mean to, it just happened at Riko’s name. Then at the realisation that he was dead and finally that the Foxes knew about it. 

Andrew caught him from falling and returned Nathaniel to his original position. He gripped the back of Nathaniel’s neck when Nathaniel couldn’t get his breathing under control. 

He hadn’t panicked until this moment, all the stress and the anxiety from the past two days was now eating him alive. He was numb, sweating and crying like a baby. 

Nathaniel knew there was people in the room, it just made it worse. In the Nest if you showed any weakness, you were punished, beaten and taken advantage of. He couldn’t help but prepare for in coming hits, his whole body tensed but he still couldn’t stop crying. 

“Neil, did you hear that?” Andrew started. “The bitch is dead, he can’t hurt you again. He can’t touch you. You saw him die, you were covered in his blood. You know he cannot harm you.” Andrew growled in a tone that others may find harsh, but Nathaniel knew it was the closest thing his could get to comforting. “Repeat after me; Riko Moriyama can not hurt me again. He is dead. Say it, Abram.” 

“Riko Moriyama cannot hurt me again. He is dead.” Nathaniel whispered, well aware of the strangers watching him be pathetic. 

“What the fuck happened to you guys?” Allison demanded. 

Kevin’s hand was broken, smashed. Abby had said it was never going to heal properly. 

He couldn’t breathe, it felt like his throat was ripped by shards of glass. This was the worst thing that could happen to him, his playing hand was now just a prop. It was no use, dead. 

He wouldn’t cry, he couldn’t. There was no emotion to release by crying. Kevin was a skeleton, nothing more. He didn’t exist anymore, Kevin Day was nothing. A worthless memory of a human. 

Abby had sniffed, ruffled his hair and left him alone in the dark after she had shared the news. Wymack only waited a moment longer to follow her out. 

Kevin Day sobbed in the dark, close room. It was small, the spare office and what space there was was covered in paperwork. 

It was too small and it reminded Kevin of the place he had only just escaped. It was too small, one lamp on the desk. It was too similar to Riko’s bedroom, too similar. 

Kevin searched through the drawers of the desk until he found some alcohol. Kevin didn’t even read the label, just chugged it as fast as he could with his breaths being clipped off. 

The bottle was brought gently down from Kevin’s lips and he immediately missed the liquor burning his throat and warming his veins. 

“Kevin,” Nathaniel prided Kevin’s fingers off the bottle with one hand, his other arm was put out of action from the bullet. Nathaniel placed the bottle back in the drawer were Kevin had found it. 

Nathaniel cupped Kevin’s face, again with just one hand, and Kevin whimpered. 

“You know, don’t you? Neil?” Kevin whispered, referring to his feelings. It felt like wildfire in his chest, setting ablaze everything Kevin thought he knew. Nathaniel’s ice cold eyes made him crazy and Andrew’s blond curled hair made him putty. 

“Kevin, Andrew and I talked.” Nathaniel started quietly, casting a glance over Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin turned around to see Andrew twirling a pen through his fingers as he watched his boyfriend step closer to Kevin. “Kev, do you -maybe- wanna try...being with both of us? We’ve both known for a few months now and we wanted to make sure we both felt comfortable before asking you, wanna be our boyfriend?” 

“Is this some sort of sick joke?” Kevin snapped, flickering his glare between both boys. Kevin stepped back, scoffing. “Don’t fucking mess with me-“ 

“Kev, why would we do that? Now of all times?” Nathaniel pleaded. He reached for Kevin, sucking on him bottom lip. 

“Kevin, are you accusing me of lying?” Andrew snapped back at him. 

“No-“ 

“Sit down and behave.” Andrew commanded. Kevin obeyed, sitting in the office chair as Andrew crossed the room to lean over him, still not quite tall enough. “I don’t lie, Neil might be a compulsive liar but he also is not lying.” 

“Why?” Kevin asked, confused. “Why me and why now?” 

“Why you?” Nathaniel began. “Because we both like you, why now? Because we both decided that without you, life sucks. I just couldn’t stop thinking about what if he got to finish you before we got there?” 

Nathaniel flinched at his own thoughts. He pouted, eyes glazing. Kevin reached a hand out for Nathaniel to take, squeezing it for comfort. He hated seeing Nathaniel so sad. 

Andrew stepped back, deciding he much rather sit on the desk next to Kevin than over Kevin. 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Kevin made sure. 

“Yes!” Nathaniel stomped his foot. “I’ve never wanted anything more than all three of us being a damn power...throuple!” 

“What he said, just less dumb.” Andrew agreed. Kevin’s bad day just got a bit better. 

Kevin smiled as he said, “Okay.” 

Nathaniel jumped up and down, over joyed. He cast a questioning look at Andrew, who nodded once. Nathaniel smiled even wider at this mystery approval. 

Kevin wondered if on day he may be able to understand these two like they already did, but Kevin was no fool and he knew it wouldn’t happen in a click of a finger. 

Nathaniel pulled Kevin off the seat with the hand he held and brought him into the tightest hug Kevin had ever had. Not that he had had may hugs in the years he was with the Ravens. 

“Kev, can I please kiss you?” Nathaniel begged. Kevin nodded, barely able to lessen his smile. 

Kevin’s heart was going a million kilometres per second when Nathaniel pressed his lips (finally) to Kevin’s own. 

Nathaniel was on his tippy toes so Kevin held him closer with an arm around his waist. Nathaniel hummed brilliantly at that and used his alright arm to bring Kevin’s head down, keeping it around Kevin’s neck and the kiss deepened. 

Kevin whimpered, he didn’t mean to but he did. That gave Nathaniel a chance to mix their tongues and that is when things got interesting. 

Kevin jerked at Nathaniel’s tongue dancing with his, his breath hitched. Nathaniel tilted his head and the kiss deepened even further. 

Kevin bit on Nathaniel’s lip, working his between his teeth until Nathaniel was whimpering deliciously. Kevin sucked on his lip before pulling apart. 

Nathaniel jumped up and Kevin caught his thighs, holding him comfortably. Nathaniel wrapped his legs around Kevin’s waist and his hand pulled down the hem of Kevin’s jersey. 

Kevin only had time to sit Nathaniel down on the desk before Nathaniel was sucking all over Kevin’s neck, painting it gorgeous purple. Kevin moan when found the spot just under Kevin’s ear. 

Kevin gasped when a firm body pressed up to his back, pinning his hips to the desk. 

“Andrew!” Kevin groaned as Andrew also began sucking on Kevin’s neck, all around the back and Nathaniel the front. It took Kevin a moment to realise they were sucking a ring around his neck, like a collar. 

Kevin groaned at the revelation. Kevin wanted these two men more than he had ever wanted anything in his entire life. 

Andrew gripped Kevin’s hips, spinning him around like Kevin was a rag doll. Kevin was putty under Andrew’s hands and lips. 

Andrew carded his fingers through Kevin’s hair, other hand reaching behind Kevin to grab Nathaniel by the hair too. He brought Nathaniel forward so his chin was on Kevin’s shoulder. 

Nathaniel nuzzled his face into Kevin’s throat, biting. 

“Baby, Damn.” Kevin gasped, rocking back onto Nathaniel. Nathaniel squealed at the pet name, pushing Kevin’s shirt up and ran his hand over Kevin’s tanned skin. He traced a heart into Kevin’s skin, Kevin shivered. 

Andrew used his grip on Kevin’s hair to pull him into a brain melting kiss. He pushed Kevin back, the small of Kevin’s back hitting the desk. Andrew bit at Kevin’s bottom lip, tugging it back. While Andrew’s head was bent back Nathaniel kissed the Adam’s Apple, a shiver wracked through Andrew’s short stature. 

Kevin fell back into Nathaniel as his two new boyfriends made out over his shoulder. Kevin pushed his hips to meet Andrew’s which resulted in Kevin being flipped around again. 

His was looking At Nathaniel, hair tugged messy and lips spit slicked and red. 

“Fuck, Baby, you look so good.” Kevin growled out. Andrew pressed all three of them together without a breath of space between them. 

“You too, treasure.” Nathaniel grinned back. 

“Oh for the love of the sweet heavens above!” Wymack said from the office door. “I thought you would be crying or some shit, but no! You banging these twinks over my fucking desk!” 

He said it loud enough for the whole apartment to hear, a few people followed Wymack into the room. Allison, Dan, Matt And Renee were behind him. 

Andrew calmly stepped back, even though he looked roughed up to all hell. He look blank faced, cheeks flushed slightly and lips beautifully swollen. 

I did that, Kevin thought to himself. 

Kevin knew he was flustered and his hair was everywhere and he looked dazed, because he felt it. 

Nathaniel was the most dazed though, his eyes barely open and he slumped against Kevin. His breathing was shallow and he looked blissfully drunk. 

Kevin stroked his hair back, smiling. 

“Out of my office now!” Wymack ordered. Kevin opted for moving out of the way so Andrew could carry Nathaniel. Kevin would have done it, but his hand. 

His hand. 

Kevin shook his head, this was not about to ruin the best thing that has ever happened to him. 

He followed Andrew to the dining room where the sat around the table. Nathaniel first was seated in Andrew’s lap, but after some whispering he had moved over to Kevin’s. 

“I like it when you call me ‘Baby’” Nathaniel mumbled. Kevin kissed his temple, running his fingers through the red curls. 

Andrew picked at his nails as he watched them both, Kevin offered him a smile. Andrew rolled his eyes. 

“I’m getting a drink of water, want one?” Andrew asked, standing up. Kevin made a noise to say him and Nathaniel raised his hand. Andrew left into the kitchen, planting a soft kiss on Kevin’s hair. 

They had been at Wymack’s apartment for three days and nobody had tried to murder them yet. So things were alright in Jean’s mind. 

He was still sulking because he hadn’t talked to Jeremy in two weeks and he was lonely out of his mind. 

Kevin, Andrew and Nathaniel had their tongues down each other’s throats all the time and Aaron was Aaron. 

Not that Jean didn’t like Aaron, it was just hard to have a proper conversation with him. Plus he was borderline homophobic and that didn’t help Jean’s crippling internalised homophobia. 

Jeremy was the only thing that helped that. 

God, Jean missed Jeremy like he missed happiness. 

Wymack has given him a call and Jeremy knew Jean was alive and phoneless. That didn’t matter, because Jeremy hadn’t tried to contact him any other way. 

He’d probably hooked up with someone else and found feelings for them, forgetting all about Jean. 

Jean buried his face in his pillow, well Wymack’s pillow. He reached down over the edge of the bed to search through the backpack he brought with him. He fished out the pills from the bottom of the bag and choked on his own breathing. 

Jean unscrewed the lid of the orange bottle and sat up, grasping his glass of water. 

Jean threw four pills in his mouth, drunk a gulp of water and then repeated that action until the water was all gone. He set the glass down on the bedside table, lying on his back and closing his eyes. 

Everything was quite and peaceful for the first time in years, Jean gripped the bottle still in his hand but it felt far away, his hand numb. 

Jean lay like that, world slowly burning out. 

Hands grabbed his face and Jean opened his eyes to see the sun. 

Coach Wymack opened the door to Jeremy’s furious knocking with a glare. 

“Jean?” Jeremy asked, pushing into the apartment and looking around all the places he could see from the doorway. 

“First door on the right.” Someone -Kevin’s Day actually- said from the lounge room. 

Jeremy dropped his carry on backpack onto a table, or maybe just the floor and bolted for the room Jean was supposed to be in. 

He threw open the door and Jean was breath shallowly on the bed. He was asleep. Jeremy approached quietly, not wanting to wake the beautiful creature from his well deserved sleep. 

Jeremy gasped when he saw what Jean was clutching to his chest. The orange bottle too familiar from Jeremy’s past. 

Jeremy rushes forward, crashing onto the mattress next to his Jean. 

“Beautiful! Wake up!” Jeremy shook Jean like he was a maraca, begging him to wake up, just look at him damnit! “My Moon, please, beautiful. Come back to me.”

Jeremy had no idea how long Jean had been under for, but his skin was still warm under his fingers. 

Jean’s eyes fluttered open, dazed, glossy and unfocused. 

“Jer?” He croaked out. 

“Beautiful,” Jeremy cried just before Jean went back under. Jeremy screamed for help, wailed for it. He threw the bottle of half taken pills from Jean’s crooked fingers and threw it against the wall. He pulled Jean’s upper body to his, holding his face in his hands. 

Jeremy begged, pleaded for Jean to wake up. He thrashed when someone pulled him off Jean, out of the room. 

“Get off me, fucker!” Jeremy seethed when Wymack had to push him to a wall. “Let me in, let me see him! Get off! Let me go! I need to see him!” 

Jeremy saw a woman he recognised as Abby Winfield dash into the room with a bunch of equipment. 

“Don’t you dare fucking hurt him!” Jeremy called. He pushed against the wall but Wymack was way to strong for him to fight. Jeremy just gave into crying, he was not an angry person and couldn’t be for long, anger usually turned to misery after five minutes. 

Sobs wracked threw Jeremy and instead of holding him back, Wymack stepped back to give him some space. 

Jeremy fell, using the wall as support on his way down to the floor. Nathaniel knelt next to him, pulling Jeremy to hug into his side. Jeremy didn’t know Nathaniel at all, but he knew the two could be friends, so he sobbed into Nathaniel’s shoulder. 

“It’s all my fault.” Jeremy blamed. “I wasn’t there when he needed me, I didn’t even try.” Nathaniel hushed into his ear, rocking Jeremy back and forth. “I am so weak.” 

“No, no,” Nathaniel whispered, “If I were in your shoes and it was Andrew or Kevin in there, I’d be a wreak.” 

“Nathaniel-“ 

“Neil.” Nathaniel stopped rocking Jeremy for a moment but soon returned to the calming movement. “Please call me Neil.” Jeremy nodded. “And plus, it isn’t your fault, it’s just everything that’s been happening, with Riko’s death and-“ 

“Wait Riko is dead?” Jeremy moved back enough to see Neil’s face. 

“We will explain later, come.” Neil stood and helped Jeremy stand up too. “Let’s wait in the lounge room, Abby knows what she is doing. She helped both Kevin and I with our wounds.” 

“Okay,” Jeremy smiled, “Thank you, Neil.”


	6. When we were together again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning runs turn into back seat talks with the mafia, someone comes home and two couples find their happily ever after.

It has been a month since Riko Moriyama’s tragic suicide and the disappearance of the remaining five was exposed to the public and two months since he died. That was also the same amount of time since Jean’s accident. 

That is what everyone was calling it, an accident and not what it really was, a suicide attempt. Jean has lived, but he was confined to a bed with Jeremy tending over his every need. 

Speaking of Jeremy, Trojan fans were also shocked to find out Jeremy Knox was in Palmetto when he was usually very public about spending time with his family in California after finals. 

The five hadn’t gone outside in those months and they had set up a few thin mattresses on the floor of the office to sleep on. The whole floor was one big mattress, Kevin, Andrew and Neil huddled up in one corner, Aaron alone in the other and Jean and Jeremy in the other. 

But, one morning Nathaniel who had started going by Neil now, had to get out of the apartment. Neil had quietly slipped out of Kevin’s warm hold and put on his running gear with minimal noise. 

Andrew had stopped him just before the door, however. Neil didn’t know how he expected to get past his boyfriend that never slept. 

“Neil, where are you going?” Andrew asked. 

“I can’t be in here anymore, I feel like I’m back at the Nest. I am just going for a run around the block.” Neil answered with a small smile. 

“I am coming with you, wait a few.” Andrew kissed Neil’s lips and went back into the bedroom. He came out a few minutes later with Kevin trailing sleepily behind him. Both in running gear. 

Neil loved going running with Andrew back at Evermore, the tight shirts over his muscles and the tights he wore under his shorts if the morning was cold. Now he got to experience the tights on Kevin’s long legs as well. This was a better idea than Neil originally has planned. 

The used the key from the kitchen table to unlock the front door, made out in the elevator and went on a run around four blocks. It was great and Neil was getting quality spying time in on his boyfriends. 

It was going great, until they were stopped by a black car with blacked out windows. 

The three men were rounding the last corner to get back to Wymack’s apartment when it stopped in the driveway ahead of them. The door closed to them was opened. 

“Turn around and run.” Andrew growled. 

The three turned on their heels but a Japanese man in a fitted grey suit was standing behind them. 

“Now, i would go anywhere if I were you.” Ichirou mused. He walked forward, expensive shoes clicking on the concrete footpath. “Come now, follow me. I have a proposal for the three of you.” 

And that was how Kevin, Andrew and Neil found themselves in the back of a car, sat across from them, Ichirou, Tetsuji and Nathan Wesninski. 

Neil whimpered when he saw his father sat on the furthest end of the seat, watching him with a manic grin. 

“Junior!” Nathan grinned wider and the shiver Neil provided. 

The last time Neil had seen his father was when he beat him after his mother had been murdered. 

Andrew flashed his teeth at the terrible men, a knife armed in both hands. 

“Now, please be civil.” Ichirou said calmly. “We are only here to conduct business.” 

“Why are you here and not the Lord?” Andrew prided. 

“My father died in hospital over night.” Ichirou said. Neil knee they would have to be fools to believe that there was no foul play involved in Kengo Moriyama’s death. “It is unimportant. We are here to offer you freedom.” 

“What?” Kevin blurted. 

“With Riko dead, there is no number one and you all are practically useless anyways.” Tetsuji complained. Ichirou stomped on his foot hard enough for a crunch. 

“No, you are very much useful to me.” Ichirou leant forward, elbows on his knees. “You will play for the Foxes, this has already been negotiated with David Wymack, and when you go pro half of your earnings will go to me. Same with Jean, even though he will be playing with the USC Trojans in California. If I decide that you are no longer worth my time and money, I will dispose of you.” 

“You have got to be kidding me.” Andrew laughs. 

“I am not, Number Five.” Ichirou assures them. “And I shall be returning your cousin to you.” 

“Nicky?” Neil gasped. “I thought he was-“ 

“My brother got up to many things I did not approve of, one being getting rid of your friend. Mr. Hemmick is perfectly fine and mentally stable.” Andrew’s fist curled up on his thigh. Neil wanted to reach out with his shaking hands to comfort Andrew, but his father was right there and Nathan would beat him bloody. “He should be returning to you by the end of the week.” 

Then they were excused. Kevin launched himself out of the car and Andrew followed a lot more composed as usual. Neil was about to join his boys but his father grabbed his wrist. 

Neil whimpered at the to tight grip. 

“We aren’t done with you yet, Nathaniel.” The Butcher cackled. “There is still something we have to offer you.” 

Everyone was furious when Neil and his boy toys walked back into the apartment. 

Everyone -the Foxes that actually cared enough, Jean, Jeremy, Aaron And Wymack- was sat in the living room trying to figure out if someone had broken into the apartment and stolen the three. 

Then the front door rattled and they walked in, Andrew first and Neil last. Jean was the only one that couldn’t bring himself to yell at them for being so foolish. Jean couldn’t bring himself to do anything these days. 

“What were you thinking?” Wymack yelled. 

Then Kevin told them everything that happened with Ichirou and Tetsuji and the Butcher. 

“We never have to go back there again?” Jean confirmed. His breath stuttered when Neil shook his head. “Oh, my God. Holy fuck.” Jean started crying from joy, beautiful joy. He hadn’t felt pure joy in what felt like eternity. He missed the way it made him feel light, his chest warm and his cheeks sore from smiling so hard. 

Jean didn’t cry, not since the airport but damnit, he was free and- 

He grabbed Jeremy by his hoodie collar and kissed him like the world burnt around them. Jeremy kisses him back and damn, Jean felt like nothing bad was ever going to happen again. 

He pulled away from Jeremy to face his brothers, pulling them all -but Andrew- onto a bone crushing hug. 

“Andrew, you magnificent bastard.” Jean pointed at the stoic blond over Kevin’s shoulder. “You psychotic murdering midget.” 

Andrew whipped out a knife, but Jean couldn’t find it in himself to feel afraid. He was just so happy. 

The group separated and Jean fell back onto the sofa with Jeremy watching him like he hung the moon personally for him. 

“I love it when you smile, mon belle luna.” Jeremy told Jean with a small smile, the happiness stored in his sapphire eyes just for Jean. 

“Why don’t you call me stuff like that?” Neil slapped his boyfriends. 

“Baby, do you really think Andrew would know any terms of affection?” Kevin grinned. 

Jean switched his attention from an angry Neil to his happy Jeremy. 

I love him, Jean thought randomly. 

Jean’s face fell. No, he can’t be in love. It’s impossible, it was beaten out of him years ago. He never thought he could romantically love someone, it would never happen. He’d felt platonic love, sexually attraction to Jeremy but...love? 

“Luna?” Jeremy’s voice was laced in concern. He cupped Jean’s throat and asked, “Is something wrong?” 

“No-“ Jean looked for an excuse. “Wait, Nicky’s coming home?” Jeremy relaxed, seeming to buy his excuse for being weird. 

“Yeah, seems like Riko thought he wasn’t good enough to be part of his Seven so he made up some fake drug overdose to get him shipped off and kept in a drugged daze.” Kevin looked disgusted as he spoke. “He should be turning up on our doorstep within the week, we’ll have to contact Erik.” 

“And we should do that because?” Andrew lifted an eyebrow. 

“I agree with Kevin.” Jean spoke up. “Nicky loved him and Erik loved Nicky just as much, Erik deserves to know that Nicky’s feelings weren’t fake.” 

“He probably has another partner.” Andrew fought but Jean was already dialing Erik’s number. Nicky had made them all call him to introduce themselves so Erik’s number was far back in his call history. 

Jean stood up and dragged Jeremy out onto the balcony while the others stayed in the living room arguing about where they were going to stay. 

“Guten Abend, Erik speaking.” Erik said into the phone, his German accent more pronounced than the last time they spoke. 

“Hey, Erik. It’s Jean Moreau.” Erik made a sound of recollection and before he could hang up Jean continued, “I just thought you should know that Nicky will be getting out of hospital in the next few days.” 

“Nicky was in hospital?” Erik’s words word clipped and low. “Since when? Why?” 

“I thought you knew?” Jean said in confusion. “Nicky had an overdose three years ago, a coma, he’s getting out of the mental hospital that he was checked into.” 

“Scheiße!” Erik roared on the other end of the phone. “Why was he in a mental hospital?” 

There was shuffling on the other end of the line, like Erik was running and the wind was messing up the audio. 

“Nicky didn’t take the drugs by choice, like he didn’t brake up with you by choice. Riko, he didn’t think Nicky was good enough so he faked an overdose and Nicky going brain dead.” Jean confessed. Erik cursed on the other end, it sounded like he was throwing stuff around. “But he is fine now, he’s coming home shortly.” 

“Scheiße, Ich werde diesen kranken Hurensohn ermorden!” Erik hung up the phone before Jean could tell him not to bother. A text came in a few moments after the phone call ended, ‘i am flying there, Palmetto. Take care of mein Liebling if he gets there before me.’

Jean sent back a quick ‘okay’ and slipped his phone into his pocket. 

Jeremy came to stand closer to Jean, brushed his fingers over Jean’s scar under his eye and then over the one through his eyebrow, over the one on the bridge of his nose, through his lip, chin, temple and the small burn scar behind Jean’s ear. 

“You are so beautiful.” Jeremy finally said. Jean felt a pang in his chest, love. Jeremy carded his fingers through Jean’s hair and brought his face down to kiss him gently. 

Jean raised his hands gingerly and unsure to the pockets of Jeremy’s hoodie, then decided it wasn’t enough and pressed his fingers lightly to the slope of Jeremy’s neck. 

Jean shifted, accidentally brushing up against Jeremy and releasing a moan from the blond. Jeremy steps back, bright red with blush. 

“Sorry- I-“ Jeremy stuttered out an apology, or tried to. Jean just had to cut short his rambling with his mouth. 

Maybe what Jean felt wasn’t love, just extreme attraction because that sound Jeremy had just made sent Jean’s body into overdrive. 

Jean grabbed Jeremy’s warm red face and smashed their faces together with hunger Jean had only experience when a plate of food had been sat in front of him after Riko staved him for a week. 

Jeremy made that sound again and Jean replied with his own. He pushed Jeremy onto the outdoor couch that was near by before climbing on top of him. 

Jeremy’s face was flushed and pupils blown until there was only a ring of blue in his eyes. 

Jean skipped over Jeremy’s swollen lips to his throat, sucking hard on Jeremy’s bobbing Adam’s Apple and the his collar bone and sucking on the lobe of Jeremy’s ear. 

Jeremy gasped and clung at Jean’s bed shirt. 

This was the furthest they had gone, which was basically pathetic. They had basically been together for three months and they had only made out once on Jeremy’s hotel couch. That was only kissing and it stopped as soon as Jeremy moaned. 

Jean had stopped it there for the same reason he kept this going, the sound made him starving. Last time Riko had been a looming figure over Jean life, the likelihood of Jean returning to the Nest with a hickey and Riko beating him was too high. Now, Jean was not taking anything for granted. 

“Luna-“ Jeremy gasped out his special name for Jean like it was gold and the promise of eternal life. 

Jean kissed Jeremy again, this time softer, like a secret. Jean used one hand to keep him from crushing Jeremy with his upper body, and the other one help Jeremy wined his leg around Jean’s waist. 

Jeremy pulled back, gasping for breath like he had been deprived of it his whole life. 

Jean leant down so his lips were brushing Jeremy’s ear. 

“Can I take your shirt off, Mon précieux?” Jean asked for Jeremy’s consent, fingers dancing playfully at the hem of the hoodie. 

“Th-the others-“ Jeremy was breathtaking when he was trying to do when he knew was probably best, but countering it by pushing his lower body to meet Jean’s. 

“Mon précieux, I need a yes or a no.” Jean licked over a small tattoo of a sun behind Jeremy’s ear. 

“Don’t take it off...just...” Jeremy was going bright red and couldn’t seemed to get his words right and out of his head. 

God, he was so cute. 

“Show me, Jer.” Jean kissed a line down the slope of Jeremy’s defined throat before going back to his lips. 

Jeremy found the hand that was holding his leg and manoeuvred it between them. Jeremy broke the kiss when he pushed Jean’s hand under his Raven hoodie. 

Jean gasped and the feeling of bumpy skin, mountains and valleys of scar tissue. 

“Jer-“ Jeremy kissed him quiet. 

“I fell in with the wrong people when I was in high school.” Jeremy confessed in a gentle voice. “Seeing you with those pills, it it brought back a lot of memories.” 

Jean didn’t know how to respond to that, he’d known that Jeremy had been distraught after Jean’s accident, but he just thought it was because Jean dying would wreak him. How selfish he had been. 

“Hush, Luna.” Jeremy cupped Jean’s face and made him stare into Jeremy’s blown wide eyes. “Silence your thoughts, I am fine now, and so are you.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“Okay.” Jean pressed a feather kiss to Jeremy’s lips as to strengthen his promise. “Do you want to keep going?” Jean asked. He knew he did, but it only matter if Jeremy wanted it just as much. 

“I think you need to, if we stop now I am going to worry about you hating my scars.” Jeremy said truthfully, pecking Jean’s lips. 

“Never, mon Soleil.” Jean traced a heart into Jeremy’s abdomen before tucking Jeremy’s hand under his shirt too. “For I’d be a hypocrite.” 

Jeremy kisses Jean softly, like Jean would brake if he applied to much pressure to his lips. 

Jeremy tasted of homemade cookies and strawberries and mint. Jean never thought he would love all those tastes mixed together, but it must be another thing he...liked... about Jeremy. 

This time the kiss stayed soft and delicate, something the Jean liked a lot better that the rush before. This time Jean was able to take his time with pulling Jeremy apart and Jeremy had his time to take Jean apart too. 

Jeremy allowed Jean to trace all his little scars, they were all little, like the smallest swipe of a knife, but there was so many of them. Jean worked his way up Jeremy’s skin, taking time to memorise every inch. 

He got to Jeremy’s chest and accidentally brushed past one of Jeremy’s nipples. Jeremy grasped and then groaned, uncontrollably jerking up to meet Jean’s hips. Jean did it again and Jeremy grasped onto Jean’s black hair with all his life. 

“You’re so sensitive.” Jean mused, happy to see the darker shade of blush that kissed Jeremy’s cheeks. Jean pinched and Jeremy arched his back. Jean thought this was the way people reacted to hands in their pants, not up their shirt. 

“Sh-Shut up-“ Jeremy choked out. Jean shimmied down the couch so his head was facing Jeremy’s chest. “Jean- Don’t you- FUCK!” 

Jean sucked on the bud over Jeremy’s thing hoodie. Jeremy was panting like a dog by the time Jean got a bit bored there. 

Jeremy’s pants started to stur and then so did Jean’s, that was when he decided this was time for pause.

Jean hoped they could pick up where they left off sometime in the future but he was fine to stop now. 

“Jer, would you mind if we left it here for today?” Jean patted Jeremy’s chest, looking at him from under his thick, dark lashes. 

“Of course, Whatever you are comfortable with, Luna.” Jeremy kissed the top of Jean’s messy bed hair. 

By Friday, Nicky was settled into the dorm room with his cousin and Andrew’s boyfriends. Nicky was quiet and even Erik couldn’t get him to eat. 

Aaron had started talking a bit more as to not make it even more difficult with two basically mute boys. 

Nicky spent a long time on the couch before realising he had a bed and hid in there from his roommate. 

He didn’t want to see them, he felt guilty whenever he looked at the twins. He had promised to protect his younger cousins, but he had failed, he left them alone in that place for three year. 

He couldn’t bare to look at Erik, the love of his god damn life that he abandoned for the fucking Ravens. Erik was trying, desperately trying, to be the Erik Nicky had once known, but he was different. He wasn’t a beautiful broad man with a heart of pure love, he had scowl lines and cold eyes whenever he wasn’t putting up a front. 

It hurt to much to know what he had done, sometimes he found himself wishing that the drugs had been enough to kill him. 

Nicky was just sitting in the bedroom with all the lights off, rolled up in his blanket when the door opened. 

“Mein Liebling, du bist okay?” Erik sat down on the end of the bed. He had cookies and cream ice cream and two spoons in his hand. 

“Do you really think I am okay, Erik?” Nicky snapped. “I was drugged for not being good enough, I almost died but when I didn’t Riko decided to take my whole life away from me.” Nicky felt pressure behind his eyes that he had been trying to keep at bay from the moment he came to his senses. “For a year I didn’t know what was happening, one moment the world was fuzzy and white, the next doctors were checking up on me, say a date that hadn’t happened yet, not to me! I don’t know what happened to me during my stay there, but I know someone didn’t take my state for granted!” 

Nicky vaguely remember an older man above him with a sick grin on his face. 

“I don’t remember shit, but all I wanted, every coherent thought I do remember is me wishing you were there to fucking protect me like you fucking promised me, Erik!” Nicky screamed, tears rushing down his face like Niagara Falls. 

Erik looked like he had just been slapped and he had dropped the ice cream and spoons that he had brought in. 

“You fucking promised me, Erik. I said we were forever when you asked me to marry you and you still had the audacity to think I would break up with you? Fuck you, Erik.” 

Nicky went to get off the bed and leave the room but Erik grabbed his shirt. 

“Do you remember what you said to me during that call?” Erik asked. “You said, ‘If you really love me, forget about me.’ And I fucking tried, Nicky. I tried dating around, but no one wanted a lovesick, depressed looser with eyes only for his ex. I promised myself I wouldn’t check up on you, wouldn’t watch your games or check you social media. Scheiße, baby, don’t leave me again.” 

“I didn’t leave you.” Nicky was still weeping. He wanted to leave but his feet weren’t cooperating with him. “Erik, we can’t go back to the way things used to be, we are both different now and...I don’t think I am the same person you fell in love with-“

“Mein Schatz, I don’t care about that!” Erik scoffed. He pulled Nicky closer to him by the waist and when Nicky is close enough he hugged him tight, using his chest as a pillow. Nicky let a new wave of tears wrack through his body. “Hush, baby, I will take any version of you that you are willing to give me. Let me get to know the new you, let me fall in love with him too. Because no matter what happens, you are still the boy I asked to spend the rest of my life with.” 

“F-fuck you, you sappy hunk.” Nicky tried to laugh through his tears. “Ich Liebe du.” 

“ich liebe dich auch.”


End file.
